Kinkeeping, 1.9.25

Kinkeeping: the act of maintaining and strengthening familial ties. It is a form of emotional labor done both out of a sense of obligation and because of emotional attachment.[1]

As I brainstorm reasons to start a new blog, what to name a new blog, what direction do I want to take a new blog, etc., I stumbled upon this term. It was an immediate light bulb moment. Keeping family stories and legacies alive has been on my mind a lot lately. What has also been on my mind is finding the best way to use my life experiences to help others. My hope is that a new blog will allow me to do both at the same time. 

If you are new to my world, here is a little back story.

I am the youngest of 3 kids, growing up in a tiny little suburb in Missouri. I had a pretty normal, uneventful childhood until age 11 or 12, which was the beginning of my rebellious period. This period ended when I got pregnant and subsequently married, at age 17. This was one of my first challenges in life. But, although challenging, things were pretty steady and uneventful for 20 years- raising 3 kids,working and going to college on the weekends. Ironically, the 20 year mark was the beginning of the end of my marriage. This was challenge #2. Only a year later, I re-married. This was challenge #3. 7 years later, my ex-husband, who by then had been part of my life for 31 years, was hit by a car and killed. Complicated grief to say the least. This was challenge #4. 5 years later, the estrangement of my middle child. This was challenge #5 and by far the hardest (although challenge #4 was a very close second). My way of determining how bad a situation is: asking myself, "Okay, did anybody die?" If the answer is no, it's not so bad. If the answer is yes then, obviously, it's worst case scenario. Well, challenge #4 involved grieving someone who actually died. Challenge #5 required the very complicated and gut-wrenching process of grieving for my child, who is still alive. 

So that is my life in a nutshell. I'll be sharing lots of stories to fill in the gaps, as there were ah-ha moments and experiences and lessons learned along the way. The past 20 years have been a roller coaster, but it all led to this moment. So here we are. Through these challenges, came wisdom. Over the years, I've learned how to live mindfully, how to express my creativity in a way to support my mental health, how to be satisfied with what I have, and how to live a more minimal life. At this point, I'm very close to the milestone of age 60 (!). I'm considering these next 20 years, if I'm lucky enough to have them, as an opportunity to make my best choices, my best work, my best way to leave a positive legacy for my family. Hopefully, in the process, some of my story will resonate with you and help you through some challenges in your own life. 

If you are here, reading this, thank you. If you'd like more, stick around for essays to read, simple living advice, mindfulness videos (yoga, Reiki, meditation) to do, and creative work to see. Overall, I'm keeping it pretty basic- not a lot of pictures, keeping the readings short, and not promoting much on social media. If it doesn't draw readers easily, that's okay. If nothing else, I'm leaving a legacy of stories for my grand kids. They'll learn a lot about their crazy Bibi, who has way too many ideas, an ever-growing library of self-help books, who will never give up on dreaming, and who is always chasing the next spark of inspiration with the best intentions.

 

Be Good. Do Good. 

~ Bibi Juli